[He stops, wanting to say so many things in that moment. How he deserves to have someone there for him, and to be there when he called, and he's not sure he has that in this place.
But then he can't say he has it other than the best friend there with him now. ]
Hey, maybe I just want to know you're not me now, okay?
[Because it hurts him to think about not being willing to trust again. Not because they had taken him from Kyle, but that he had let all those things happen to him.]
[ The thing is, Michael doesn't think he does. Everyone who's ever loved him has left him. Many of them, he helped to push into it along the way. Friendship never meant anything. Family was temporary and kindness was currency. These are things he's always known. It's not the same for everyone.
But it's true as he knows it. ]
You know what I am. You know where I've come from, and I'm not talking about space. You know I don't deserve better, you're just being down on you.
And you shouldn't. [ Michael sits up, reaching to wrap a hand around his wrist. ] You're good, Kyle. You've gotta remember who you are.
[It's that touch more than anything that makes Kyle stop, turning to look at Michael. He stares at him for a moment before reaching out, lightly touching Michael's chest over his heart. Yet he draws his hand back at the softest touch, not feeling he deserves that either.]
It's because I know those things that I can say you do. No matter how I feel about my actions in the last year. I know you, Michael. I know how much you've been there for me and that's all I can judge it on.
It's hard remembering that though, Mikey. Not when I am living with... It's hard to think of who I was when I've been through what I have. What if that guy in Roswell for the last few years, my residency, what if it's not the real me but high school was?
[Because he was a lot of that same mean girl in the last six months.]
I'm figuring it out though. Starting with making this place my own. Maybe it'll help. Least means I can move back into the master bedroom.
[ Michael lifts his eyebrows, smiles, and shakes his head. ]
No one - and I mean no one - is the best part of themselves in High School. Life's more complicated than that. You're more than you ever showed anyone back then. I know you, Kyle.
[ He hadn't known him in High School, not really. And that Kyle never would've been touching him like this.
He puts his own hand over Kyle's. It's something about that touch, or maybe it's the way they're looking at each other. Later, Michael won't be able to say exactly what inspired it. But he leans forward, all the same, and he puts his lips on Kyle's. It's a gentle kiss, not asking for anything, and the motion of it even surprises Michael.
( There's part of him that wants to argue but he knows one thing is true. Michael Guerin knows more about him than anyone. If only that he's taken the time to get to know him. He can't really say anyone but maybe Margo had ever tried to do that.
Michael has made that effort, and more than that he made the effort to be there for him.
Yet whatever he had been expecting in that moment, it wasn't Michael kissing him. Though, if he is honest, it is something he's wanted but didn't think he would ever ask for.
Leaning into that kiss, lips just barely parting as he offers more, afraid to take anything and ruin the moment. Just knowing he's wanted this even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it. )
[ Michael presses into it, giving himself to it. Kyle's lips are soft and pliant, remarkably easy to kiss. He's a little cool to the touch, but not much. Or maybe it's that Michael is warm. His hand comes up against his neck, thumb moving over his jaw. His own kiss is soft, and then slowly it deepens, his tongue licking into Kyle's mouth.
There's a strange kind of thrill with that. He'd never imagined himself doing this, and he'd never imagined it would feel so good. It does. ]
[ Never had Kyle imagined this moment. Though he's kind of kept himself from thinking about it recently, not in the ways that this city pushes but because he enjoys the time he spends with Michael and he is starting to mean a lot to Kyle. This though was more than he could have imagined.
Shifting to lean in closer to Michael, his tongue swiping against Michael's as his hands slide along his sides. Loving the heat on his palms, against his tongue. A warmth he never thought he needed. Not until that moment.
Barely breaking the kiss for a breath before his hands tracing along his waist, back to curl against his back and draw him in closer. ]
[ In that brief moment where there's a space between them, Michael meets Kyle's eyes. There's some unspoken communication here, about what they're doing, what they're allowing to happen.
What Michael is allowing to happen.
Deliberately, he pushes Kyle back, and then pulls his own shirt over his head. Then he moves in again, taking another kiss from Kyle's lips and sliding his hands down over his chest. His teeth catch his lower lip, a light tease. ]
[ Kyle's breath catches in his lungs, staring into Michael's eyes. He's known him forever but now things are different between them, changing again. First as friends, now adding a new intimacy to that friendship.
Falling back on the touch, reaching for Michael and pulling him in close. One hand cupping the back of his head, tangling in those disheveled curls as the other hand slides along his back. Nails light against the skin, gliding down until hand grips at Michael's hip.
He can't hold back a groan, the taste of Michael on his lips and the scent of rain all around him is nearly overwhelming. ]
[ Michael's on top of him, arched over him. His hands trail down Kyle's chest and find his belt. He's meeting his eyes as he unbuckles it, as he gets his zipper all the way down. From there his hand unwraps him, pulling him out and running rough fingers along his shaft.
It's a step they've never taken before tonight, but Michael does it once, and knows without saying a word that they'll do it again. He dips down and he's kissing him again, hot and eager, tongue licking into his mouth. His hand rides along his shaft, thumb pushing over his slit. ]
[ It absolutely feels like the next step in their friendship. This is where they were meant to be, how they were meant to come together. Staring up into Michael's eyes as his breathing shudders past his lips, trembling with desire.
A soft moan at that touch, hips rolling and bucking up against his touch. Unable to hold himself back at that, needing more as he arches up into that kiss. Dragging his nails over Michael's back, along his sides until his fingers are working on getting Michael's belt buckle open, working to get his pants open.
Every touch brings a low sound from Kyle, noises of need that he can't hide as he shoves the denim down a bit, out of his way. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2021-02-25 10:19 pm (UTC)But then he can't say he has it other than the best friend there with him now. ]
Hey, maybe I just want to know you're not me now, okay?
[Because it hurts him to think about not being willing to trust again. Not because they had taken him from Kyle, but that he had let all those things happen to him.]
You really deserve better than that.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-04 02:42 am (UTC)But it's true as he knows it. ]
You know what I am. You know where I've come from, and I'm not talking about space. You know I don't deserve better, you're just being down on you.
And you shouldn't. [ Michael sits up, reaching to wrap a hand around his wrist. ] You're good, Kyle. You've gotta remember who you are.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-05 06:04 am (UTC)It's because I know those things that I can say you do. No matter how I feel about my actions in the last year. I know you, Michael. I know how much you've been there for me and that's all I can judge it on.
It's hard remembering that though, Mikey. Not when I am living with... It's hard to think of who I was when I've been through what I have. What if that guy in Roswell for the last few years, my residency, what if it's not the real me but high school was?
[Because he was a lot of that same mean girl in the last six months.]
I'm figuring it out though. Starting with making this place my own. Maybe it'll help. Least means I can move back into the master bedroom.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-14 01:10 pm (UTC)No one - and I mean no one - is the best part of themselves in High School. Life's more complicated than that. You're more than you ever showed anyone back then. I know you, Kyle.
[ He hadn't known him in High School, not really. And that Kyle never would've been touching him like this.
He puts his own hand over Kyle's. It's something about that touch, or maybe it's the way they're looking at each other. Later, Michael won't be able to say exactly what inspired it. But he leans forward, all the same, and he puts his lips on Kyle's. It's a gentle kiss, not asking for anything, and the motion of it even surprises Michael.
But when he does it, it doesn't feel wrong. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-03-15 01:46 am (UTC)Michael has made that effort, and more than that he made the effort to be there for him.
Yet whatever he had been expecting in that moment, it wasn't Michael kissing him. Though, if he is honest, it is something he's wanted but didn't think he would ever ask for.
Leaning into that kiss, lips just barely parting as he offers more, afraid to take anything and ruin the moment. Just knowing he's wanted this even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it. )
no subject
Date: 2021-03-18 10:44 pm (UTC)There's a strange kind of thrill with that. He'd never imagined himself doing this, and he'd never imagined it would feel so good. It does. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-03-21 03:39 am (UTC)Shifting to lean in closer to Michael, his tongue swiping against Michael's as his hands slide along his sides. Loving the heat on his palms, against his tongue. A warmth he never thought he needed. Not until that moment.
Barely breaking the kiss for a breath before his hands tracing along his waist, back to curl against his back and draw him in closer. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-12 02:20 am (UTC)What Michael is allowing to happen.
Deliberately, he pushes Kyle back, and then pulls his own shirt over his head. Then he moves in again, taking another kiss from Kyle's lips and sliding his hands down over his chest. His teeth catch his lower lip, a light tease. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-13 05:20 am (UTC)Falling back on the touch, reaching for Michael and pulling him in close. One hand cupping the back of his head, tangling in those disheveled curls as the other hand slides along his back. Nails light against the skin, gliding down until hand grips at Michael's hip.
He can't hold back a groan, the taste of Michael on his lips and the scent of rain all around him is nearly overwhelming. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-08 11:02 am (UTC)It's a step they've never taken before tonight, but Michael does it once, and knows without saying a word that they'll do it again. He dips down and he's kissing him again, hot and eager, tongue licking into his mouth. His hand rides along his shaft, thumb pushing over his slit. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-10 02:17 am (UTC)A soft moan at that touch, hips rolling and bucking up against his touch. Unable to hold himself back at that, needing more as he arches up into that kiss. Dragging his nails over Michael's back, along his sides until his fingers are working on getting Michael's belt buckle open, working to get his pants open.
Every touch brings a low sound from Kyle, noises of need that he can't hide as he shoves the denim down a bit, out of his way. ]